Home » News & Events » The Caregiver Gift Guide: Ways to Show Your Appreciation
from Rewarding Work
Your mail carrier, housekeeper, hair stylist, babysitter—when you are making a list for holiday gratuities or gifts, most people would put the caregiver for a family member near the top. How can you show appreciation on a tight budget? Is there such a thing as too generous? RewardingWork asked experts in the caregiving profession to think outside the box and offer some creative ideas.
“I would say start by looking at what interests or hobbies a caregiver has,” says Kansas parent Gina Ervay, whose experience has included respite administration:
Positive Approach to Care® founder Teepa Snow, MS, OTR/L, FAOTA, recommendations range from practical to more personal:
“I believe gifts should be meaningful and not expensive,” says blogger Donna Thomson (The Caregivers’ Living Room), the mother of two grown children, one with severe cerebral palsy and medical complexity. “The worst thing would be to make a caregiver feel uncomfortable because he or she might not be in a position to reciprocate.” Donna also helped care for her mother, who lived with dementia until the age of 96. She is the co-author of The Unexpected Journey of Caring: The Transformation of Loved One to Caregiver (2019) and author of The Four Walls of My Freedom: Lessons I’ve Learned from a Life of Caregiving (2010, 2014). Donna’s family gives a card with a heartfelt note of thanks to occasional caregivers and gifts to those with whom they are especially close. She is also a big believer in personalized gifts:
For Kate Clark of Deaconess Abundant Life Communities in Massachusetts, “A great way to express thankfulness is a homemade gift or card – caregivers love to receive notes from the families and clients with personalized anecdotes.” Kate’s other recommendations include:
Pennsylvania-based lawyer Cathy Sikorski, an expert on work-life balance and family caregiving, whose books include Who Moved My Teeth? and 12 Conversations: How to Talk to Almost Anyone About Long-Term Care Planning, suggests “the gift of time. Remember when you gave your mom ‘coupons’ for washing dishes or washing the car? How about the same for a caregiver? An afternoon off? A coffee break with me, and I’ll get us a paid caregiver for a few hours? A walk in the park with you or without you while you stay with your loved one? A library card and the afternoon to browse for some books?”
Cathy recommends that you give what you can afford. If you are in charge of your loved ones’ finances, she says, “it’s perfectly legitimate if the circumstances allow that this comes out of their money and not yours.” Other ideas from Cathy include:
Jennifer L. FitzPatrick, MSW, LCSW-C, CSP, author of Cruising through Caregiving and Reimagining Customer Service in Healthcare, recommends that cash gratuities be represented as a “holiday bonus.” For inspiration in selecting presents, she says, “Think about what you know about the caregiver. Does the caregiver have a favorite pet, sports team, or food?” Consignment and thrift shops are often a good source of inexpensive personalized gifts as well as:
AARP National Family and Caregiving Expert Amy Goyer has guidance for gifts (monetary and other). For those who want to give a holiday bonus, they could write a check for the same amount as one session or visit. If that is outside their budget, $100 is fine. She has also recommended:
Finally, from a land down under, Australian author and inspirational speaker Lorraine Kember —known worldwide for sharing her firsthand experience as a cancer caregiver—is another believer in the gift of time. “Offer to go shopping for them, pick up their dry cleaning, walk their dog, mow their lawn, or weed their garden, do some housework,” she says. More tangible ideas include:
The holidays provide an excellent opportunity to give back to your caregiver. Our experts advise being mindful of any restrictions from private or government agencies:
Kate Clark notes that many organizations have guidelines for how much clients and caregivers can accept, usually under $50. “Calling the organization directly is the best way for families to make sure there are no repercussions regarding caregivers accepting gifts,” she says.
Teepa Snow mentions the documentation required by Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS), the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), and private companies that have specific rules about gift giving and receiving.
Gina Ervay says that families who rely on government assistance should check on the rules of a particular agency—say, Medicare. Many home care agencies have restrictions regarding accepting cash or limiting gifts, while conflict-of-interest protections and ethical concerns may include dependency, favoritism, and financial exploitation.
Jennifer L. FitzPatrick reminds gift givers that many organizations direct generous family members to an organization-wide appreciation fund, which often is applied toward prizes, bonuses, and parties.
