Home » News & Events » Aging Well: Spotlight on Early-Stage Dementia
Gorlitz Kensington Clubs Provide Meaning and Respite
Although many Samuel J. Gorlitz Kensington Clubs (KC) members move on to memory care facilities as their dementia progresses, their caregivers often tell us that their loved one’s membership in the program improved their life and maybe slowed the disease’s progress a bit.
JCA’s Kensington Clubs are social-model adult day programs serving older adults living with early-stage memory loss and their care partners. There are four clubs which serve about 50 members.
“Gorlitz Kensington Clubs were fabulous in so many ways,” said Don Siegel as he reminisced about his late wife, Bette. At KC, she made friends and discovered a talent for art.
Bette, who had a diagnosis of Lewey body dementia, was a cherished member of KC from November of 2022 to February of 2024. She passed away later that year.
In a recent New York Times article, A Loved One Was Diagnosed With Dementia. Now What? Don talked about the stress of caregiving and what a horrible disease dementia is.
“It’s the mental equivalent of death by a thousand paper cuts.” Families are “left with someone you can’t recognize, except in very brief moments.”
Don also spoke with JCA, recalling how his wife began forgetting little things that he was able to dismiss. But their children noticed. Their mother was a great cook who always made their Thanksgiving dinner rolls. But eventually she resorted to using recipes as her memory faded.
The first medical professional Don spoke with called Bette’s problems COVID fog, but the family wasn’t convinced.
“After a while, it became pretty obvious” it was much worse. Her forgetfulness was accompanied by acts of aggression that were so unlike her. She became unable to make even the smallest decision.
All he could think of was that the woman he loved had a master’s degree in French, was an editor of a newspaper and a wonderful person. “I remember weeping on the side of the road,” when he realized this was no short-term COVID issue.
Don and Bette soon moved to Silver Spring to be with their children, and Bette joined Kensington Clubs where she enjoyed the musicians. She also participated in JCA’s Opening Minds Through Art program, where Don first realized she had talent. But the longer she participated, the less talent shone through, he said.
“Kensington Clubs gave her meaning,” he said. And just as important, it gave him two mornings a week where he could get chores done or head out to the nearby library or recreation center. While he played ping pong or read, he knew his wife was happy and well taken care of.
“She loved Kensington Clubs and made friends very easily. In her life before her diagnosis, she was an award-winning challah baker and offered to teach a challah-baking class for her group—with her husband’s help,” said KC Director Colleen Kemp.
“Bette made friends with another gentleman who had dementia and the club provided her with purpose. He battled cancer as well, and as he became frailer, Bette offered her arm to escort him into the club each week,” Kemp recalled.
But her disease worsened. “Ultimately, she was like a four-year-old,” according to her husband. She put the dishes in the clothes washer but also aggressively attacked people.
Briefly, from time to time, her former personality reappeared. Don noted in the NYT article, “You live for that moment,” he said. “In the nightmare, there were, in fact, moments of clarity and humor, and occasionally my wife would reappear.”
Looking back, Don said, “KC was great. I couldn’t have managed without it. He praised the caring staff, noting, “KC was a big piece of the puzzle. It kept Bette more alert than she would have been.”
Aging Well: JCA Stories is a new series sharing an in-depth look at JCA’s programs, services, and impact.
