How to Navigate the Many Stages of Caregiving

young hands holding older hands

by Susan Stiles for NCOA

Experts in caregiving often refer to it as a “journey,” and that comparison is very apt. The key difference between a caregiving journey and other journeys is that, although it may have a distinct beginning, the road ahead is uncertain. The journey may only last for a few days or may continue for many years. As with any journey, the caregiving journey has distinct stages. For a few of you, this may be a straightforward trip. For most others, though, it will feel more like going through a maze and experiencing a range of emotions along the way, from frustration and anger to love and satisfaction.

Different models are used to portray the caregiving journey. One helpful model is depicted below and shows the caregiving journey as a multi-stage process.

1. Confusion

  • Experiencing information overload
  • Feeling out of the loop due to hurried handoffs by professionals
  • Feeling remorse and regret over advance planning and other arrangements that were not discussed with the care recipient

2. Realization

  • Starting to realize you are not just a helpful family member or friend, but that you are actually in a heavy “caregiver” role
  • Realizing that family, friends, and other roles are changing
  • Feeling anxious about “medical duties” you are taking on

3. Frustration

  • Having conflicting feelings about what it means to be a caregiver
  • Requiring more support from friends, family, and others
  • Feeling the need to seek partnerships with healthcare professionals

4. Acknowledgement

  • Starting to feel like an expert on the care recipient’s condition
  • Beginning to experience “caregiver gain” (your own condition is starting to improve as a result of your caregiving role)
  • Becoming more observant of the care recipient’s condition, yet trying not to interfere with the independence level they have

5. Collapse

  • Sacrificing your own health for that of your loved one(s)
  • Holding in “toxic thoughts” of anger and resentment
  • Not taking care of yourself while still giving care to your loved one(s)

6. Acceptance

  • Sensing what to expect next, leading to feelings of calm and relief
  • Finding and seizing opportunities to connect with other caregivers
  • Focusing on the future, and planning with your loved one and others

>>Read the full article and save the caregiver journey template