Home » News & Events » Working and Caregiving: Should You Tell Your Boss?
By Paul Wynn, AARP
The pressures in the workplace are mounting amid a rapidly expanding caregiving population: An estimated 63 million Americans now provide care, nearly a 50 percent increase since 2015. About seven in 10 family caregivers in the United States hold jobs, according to the latest Caregiving in the US 2025 report from AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving. Many caregivers adjust their schedules, arriving late, leaving early, or taking time off to meet a loved one’s needs. They’re also coping with higher levels of stress, financial strain, and isolation than caregivers who are not employed. Hourly workers, who make up a large share of employed caregivers, are especially vulnerable, as they often lack access to flexible schedules or supportive workplace benefits.
“Working caregivers worry that the moment they speak up, they’ll be seen as less reliable or less committed, even if they’re working harder than ever,” says Liz O’Donnell, author of Working Daughter: A Guide to Caring for Your Aging Parents While Making a Living. “Many caregivers go into ‘I’ve got this’ mode. They tell themselves they can manage their parents’ medical crisis, raise their kids, and still perform at work like nothing has changed.”
Caregiving at work is not one size fits all. There are three main situations that happen to employees: those who tell their employer, and it goes poorly, those who tell them and it goes well, and those who don’t tell anyone at all.
O’Donnell, who has worked in marketing and communications for 30-plus years, began her caregiving journey when she found out on the same day that her mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and her dad was diagnosed with dementia.
At first, she tried to manage everything quietly, convincing herself she could handle caregiving, parenting, and a full workload without letting anything slip. When she finally told her boss what was happening, the response was supportive. Her manager asked a simple question: “What do you need?”
But O’Donnell says that question revealed a deeper challenge. Already overwhelmed by the emotional shock and logistical chaos of caregiving, she didn’t know how to answer. What she really wanted, she recalls, was for the situation to disappear entirely, something no workplace accommodation could provide.
She soon realized that asking for a flexible work schedule had to be a priority, plus having colleagues who could back her up on days when she couldn’t lead client meetings or team calls.
Claude Silver, chief heart officer at VaynerX, a communications holding company, says employees seeking flexible work arrangements should begin by building genuine connections with their managers and speaking up early rather than waiting until they are overwhelmed.
In her view, many organizations do not automatically foster psychological safety around caregiving or personal struggles, so employees should talk with a manager, sharing what they are experiencing and explaining what support might help them continue doing their best work.
“Don’t wait until you’re burned out to say something,” says Silver, author of Be Yourself at Work. “Proactive communication with your manager can open the door to flexible schedules or temporary adjustments, and those early conversations may not just help you get the support you need, but they could shift the culture of a team in a positive way.”
When working caregivers are in need of more support, caregivers should first review their company’s benefits handbook or portal to understand what leave and flexible work options are available. One of the first things to explore is federal and state benefits.
Federal benefits. The first policy to understand is the Family and Medical Leave Act, or FMLA. This national law, which applies to employers with 50 or more employees, allows eligible employees to take up to 12 weeks of job-protected leave to care for a seriously ill family member.
An important caveat: The leave is unpaid. Your benefits stay intact, and your job is protected, but you have to be financially prepared because you won’t be receiving a paycheck during that time.
State benefits. It’s also important to understand paid leave programs across several states. These programs can provide crucial financial support, allowing caregivers to take the time they need while receiving at least a percentage of their income.
Caregiver leave. Some companies are stepping beyond federal and state leave policies to offer dedicated caregiver leave, recognizing the growing pressures on employees supporting ill or aging family members.
Flexible work schedules. While many companies are encouraging employees to return to the office, workplace policies are evolving to offer greater flexibility for caregivers. Options such as flexible schedules, part-time arrangements, or remote work can help employees manage their professional responsibilities and caregiving duties.
Employee assistance program (EAP). This benefit is designed to help employees address personal challenges that may affect their job performance or well-being. EAPs typically provide confidential access to short-term counseling and professional support for a range of issues, including stress and anxiety related to caregiving.
If you’re struggling at work and managing caregiving duties at home and want to discuss it with your employer, Cynthia Iorio, founder of Monarque Solutions, offers this step-by-step guide to help prepare for and navigate the conversation in your workplace.
1. Identify your needs. Assess your caregiving responsibilities at the immediate, medium, and long-term stages, if that’s possible in your specific circumstances. Determine what resources you require, such as time, financial support, or respite, and think about the likely duration of your caregiving role.
2. Start with a trusted colleague at work. Before speaking with your manager, talk to a colleague you trust who may be or may know someone in a similar caregiving situation. This will help you clarify your situation, get perspective, learn about benefit options, and explore potential solutions with an ally, without fear of stigma or judgment.
3. Know available benefits. Take some time to understand your company’s policies, employee assistance programs, and any relevant leave protections. Doing your homework helps you advocate effectively for yourself and access support.
4. Come with solutions, not just problems. Before speaking to your manager or HR, think about concrete ideas for accommodations rather than just describing challenges.
5. Engage your manager before HR (when appropriate). Build trust with your manager by approaching them first, which empowers them to support you and prevents misunderstandings. Start with your manager because not only will they ultimately be informed about your situation anyway, but they can become a key advocate and ally for you as you navigate your career and caregiving.
6. Escalate thoughtfully if needed. If your manager is unsupportive or inflexible, you might consider talking to the HR department or higher management to find support and protect your role. Use the information you have to make informed decisions about your career or caregiving priorities.
7. Leverage resources and support. Some HR teams provide a list of community resources for employees managing caregiving responsibilities, including free tools, support groups, and professional caregiving consultants for hire. These resources can help caregivers access guidance, connect with peers, and better manage their responsibilities while balancing work.
8. Prepare to reassess. As your loved one’s needs change, so too will your caregiving demands. Reassess your situation and needs on an ongoing basis to determine the types of support or flexibility required to maintain productivity. Caregiving ebbs and flows, and so too does the flexibility you’ll need to manage career and care.
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